Blog post tells women reasons why attend 5 Pillars of Happiness workshop. I’ve described it in a form of Letter to Lisa
May this writing find you in the most colourful state of mind. I want to thank you for the time we have spent together. For me, it was not only an enjoyable and serene experience but educational as well. The following is what I believe with my entire heart, and it forms the foundations of life I am living. I hope it will benefit you as well. You might find it sexist, and for that, I apologise, but please try to see beyond that, as it also indicates and clarifies the values of men as well as our understanding of women and life.
To allow changes, you may need to ignore the certain advice of previous marriage consultants and life coaches. It shouldn’t be hard for if their advice would have been effective, we would never have met. You will also have to forgive your man all his past disappointments and leave them behind. You see, if your mind is in the past but heart in the present, you cannot have balance in life. You will have to face fear, nuisance and doubt. You will need to tell him your true feelings by being absolutely honest and follow the wisdom:
“Do for other people what you would like them to do for you.”
This may be the reason why you didn’t make love.
If you decide to believe this truth, then you should try to never stop following it. Even when your life becomes challenging, when you are feeling lonelier than you ever were before, when you are being misunderstood by those who you care for the most, even then don’t stop… and miracles might start happening. It is normal and ok sometimes to break down, as long as the next day you are on the path again. Lisa, when enough time will pass your life will become easier and more beautiful as you have a resilient and devoted soul.
You see, man will say:
”Ohhh I can’t do this because my back hurts.”
A woman, on the other hand, will think:
”Ok, what I am able to do, or can I do, when my back hurts?”
This ideology makes you a woman. It makes you go further when the rest world stops. That same ideology inspired you to meet me. So, what will be your next step?
Before making any decisions, take some time to think if your man is even worthy of your sacrifices and efforts. Go in nature or where it feels pleasant for you and think over and over again until you become absolutely sure. Write worthy and challenging facts about your relationship to understand it clearly, for you are entering a very challenging but important path of your life. Avoid consulting friends and family as you will most likely get a biased opinion. It is nothing but hypocrisy to take passion and desires away from life when we are growing old. Know that the two most common regrets of women are: 1) not saying yes more often; and 2) becoming a slave to a mortgage for a house beyond ones means.
If you decide to give him a chance, which I believe is fair, then the prime consideration is the time frame you will allow him to evolve and change his attitudes towards you. I can’t advise on this, however you should feel the genuine difference in the relationship before six months. The change doesn’t come overnight, it takes time, a lot of time. In a way, we are evolving through our entire life, but the core of our personality establishes by our early 20, and only very strong reasons will inspire changes.
If you want to evolve any personality trait, you have start from the foundations and build the castle up slowly, with absolute belief, dedication and love. Foundations of your castle; the castle is a metaphor for your relationship, it is knowing the two most important facts of almost every man which I’ve told you about. Master those facts and man will become your confidant, willing to tell you everything and do anything for you. To achieve that you will have to work like a wild bee, one you told me about. Hmmm maybe now and here is where you will again live your life?
Remember what I was telling you about my second wife, how she changed my world when I was 34 years old? It is never too late for person to evolve, to be born again…never.
Woman is the mind and soul of the universe, man is only a brute power, so shapes and forms don’t define her…her beauty shines within…like stars on a dark sky. Sadly, in this selfish, manipulated, and corrupt society, many value external beauty more. This is one of the main reasons why the majority of people are lonely, not understanding why. Therefore, you have to flip your mind from being judgmental about yourself and your naked body by comparing it with other people or societal beliefs. Lisa, if you don’t respect yourself, you don’t have the right to have respect from another.
Embrace whatever you are feeling in the moment, and live however you are feeling to the fullest. Don’t hold back anything over the fear of anything nor anyone. Just say to yourself:
“I am me and to hold back any of me is to hold back something that I am supposed to bring into the world.”
So get in the state of mind of feeling sexy about yourself instead as sincere and honest where you will start wondering:
“Goddess, how doesn’t he like me? Why doesn’t he see and feel how sexy I am? Why doesn’t he want to make love to me right now?”
Evoke these feelings by finding spots and curves of your body that makes you feel sexy. Look at yourself in the mirror and embrace, touch and caress them. And, if there is something you may not like as much, practice Body Love rituals which we have practiced and magic will occur. Move the way that makes you feel sexy. Dress the way that makes you feel sexy.
During massaging your face, Lisa, I was witnessing transformation in all the glory. Under my touch, the insecure and unconfident woman disappeared completely. I can’t describe the beauty I had witnessed, but I know where it was coming from, as I’ve seen it many times working with my clients before.
Remember how we were content resting on the bed wrapped in our sensual environment, chatting about life and enjoying the moment, yet total strangers a few hours before? How is that possible Lisa? On what that moment was reminding you of? How did you feel at that moment? I am not far from the truth saying that at this moment you were feeling again like you were a 20 year old girl again. Is that correct?
See, up to the early twenties, a human being is developing a personality for the rest of their life. Yes, over the years, the physical body was changing, but your mind not as much. The burden and expectations of adult responsibilities and society manipulation – just covered it. They covered your true personality, covered your true essence. During the massage, I only broke through all the layers of manipulation. Now you will have to do the same for your man, as the human psyche has a tremendous capacity for recovery and even constantly growth.
It is hypocrisy to diminish the power of children’s and young people’s loving behaviour by becoming a senior…or find an excuse in that. This is the leading reason why the majority of couples are struggling together or get separated. For me, seeing an elderly couple walking hand in hand and expressing love to each other is witnessing a meaning of life. To understand who people by nature are, you have to observe interactions of very young children on the playground, without the presence of their parents instructing them how to behave and what to do. Because, after children learn the language, they sadly become a copy of their parents and the environment they were surrounded by.
It is around 2 million years since the dawn of human civilisation and the majority of that time we were living in the egalitarian tribes. People were evolving by sharing and caring for each other; just as children do. It is only around three hundred years ago that modern technology started to kick in. It is less than a hundred years of tv and less than thirty years of the internet era. By constant persuasion through all sources of media on how to live, what beauty and happy lifestyle are, the human mind becomes completely manipulated with the ideology of contemporary society, which also suggests that we can prosper only as a selfish individual. Lisa, embrace your man by the hand, as much as you can and take him to places where children are playing to learn again who we are as humans and how to be.
I am expressing my honest belief with love and good intentions in my heart by asking, “which female physical features attracts majority of men the most?”
The answer is – your hair. Long, beautiful and well-groomed hair Lisa. Feeling comfortable about running fingers through your hair, gliding unintentionally over a curve to the ear.…with a certain expression on your face…and a Goddess of seduction you are.
Your vagina is as soft as only silk can be. A dream man prays never to stop as she has a magic to inspire his heart to become the orchestra and his soul the singer.…so cherish her. Let the light shine on her. Nourish her just the way she is.
Your breasts so firm, attractive and young. Every inch of tanned skin from the shadowy underneath to the dotted brownie nipple top is a sensual playground. You don’t need the bra. It is freedom wearing clothes which unintentionally expose them when you are dancing around the house.
Much more, you can do. Become confident not to close the bathroom door, nor any door as doors are barricades of happiness. This will make him mad on you. It is not what we see and touch, but rather what we hear and imagine that drive us crazy. Remember the whirlpool of feeling when I have blindfolded you – I know they were many – but none were challenging.
Your voice of passion is so appealing that it shivers the entire body, like a wind which ripples the surface of a mountain lake. Whisper to him what your desires are. Yes, they are just words…but they will make a great difference, for the power of the word is warmer than power of touch. Seemingly the hardest challenges are often the easiest, and once conquered, we regret not trying earlier. The fact is that only woman can inspire change and man will follow. Many times, we realise the importance of something only after losing it, whether that be a person or a possession. That may be a reflection of a human tendency taking things for granted and by that failing to realise their beauty. Give your man another chance, and if he doesn’t appreciate it after time, walk away and never look back again.
Here are even more sweeteners for you, and goddess you deserve them all just because you are a woman.
Midlife crisis associates the majority of men with radical behaviour changes, such as buying certain cars, transforming their lifestyle and even attraction to young women. Much is said about this, however there is only one truth that not many women are aware of. Past a certain age, men are looking for youthfulness within themselves, and this is how they understand and try to attract it. It is not their desire for young women, nor fast cars, nor for a luxurious lifestyle.
A general definition of youthfulness is a period of life in-between childhood and adulthood. It is described as a time of experimenting with roles and identities, void of the burden of social norms and obligations. It is a time of joy and yes, silliness. It is also time when people coin their personality. Perhaps even more important for you to know is that the biggest burden of a mature man is his physical power, or in other words, failure to satisfy his woman. As it is a greater possibility to fail satisfying a younger woman, man would prefer to sail in safe waters, if having the right reason. And what are better reasons than by bringing back your inner child?
In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask the following questions:
When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in connected to your inner child?
Lisa if you want to become young again, then play again.
The best life formula:
“Multiply food with sex, and the result is love.”
My favourite youthful and kinky games are during cooking. Your aim should be as much as possible, enjoying the household together. However, avoid cooking the same dish, meaning that if you are cooking the main course, he should be creating a dessert or an entrée. You know too many chefs’ – bad soup. The beauty behind is that it creates an infinite possibility for sensual touching, laughing, and enjoying in different tastes. What can be more joyful and sensual as sticking your finger into food, ask him to lick one and describe the taste? What can be a better bonding experience than dancing around each other armed only by warm feelings about yourself? You will be desired and seduced constantly. And if you feel that behaviour is not appropriate of your age, know that you have the same desires, expectations and needs now as you had as a younger woman. Listen to your inner child, become again who you truly are and stay forever who you were with me.
Considering that you are a painter, a great deal of fun would be to ask him to become your nude model. So set the sensual environment, offer him a favourite drink and start painting. Stay serious painting, and after 20 min show him your work. Paint Mickey Mouse instead of him, great no? It is silly, it is simple, but it is very efficient, just as it is everything else funny that you were doing as a child and teenage woman.
The most powerful aphrodisiac is your mind. Mentioned practices are only sweeteners to inspire and enrich relationships, and no matter how wonderful they are, by practising constantly, they will lose their meaning and power by becoming monotonous. Be mindful that assumptions, guessing and gossip are the biggest destroyers of happiness and relationships. It is only trust and honest conversations that not only maintain but evolve relationships. As you said, he is very protective by nature, and I believe he would have a tangible ego as well, which might make him vulnerable. I imagine it was hard for him being at marriage counselling? My advice is to initiate a conversation by a soft approach and proper timing after you do some gentle changes with behaviour and grooming. Take this also as a test to see if he will notice your effort.
“I need to explore my sexuality to find and awaken the lost flames again. I would love to do that with you, but I will also understand if you don’t want to be part of this journey.“
Expect of him to be confused and unsecured because he will not understand you, but even more importantly, he will fear to fail. Many thoughts will be blasting in his mind at that moment. Remember, men are “heroes”, and heroes know everything; they can fix everything and never, never, never fail. So observe his face, and when you feel or see the changes, hold his hand and gently let him know that it is ok, that you don’t know exactly what you want and how to do it, but whatever comes is good and that you desire to find this together with him
Even if he rejects or get upset, don’t follow those emotions. Remember Lisa, try not to get upset anymore, because you are wasting energy by being upset, by managing things or trying to control or force things. The moment you stop doing that, this excess of life energy is available to you. However it is not the energy that has come to you because you grabbed it, it came to you completely in the opposite way, and this is the energy in which you can trust. Instead, calmly ask him why and act accordingly. Always ask why and ask for a reason, just as kids are doing. How else can you know the truth? He needs to understand that you are doing this for him. He can’t feel that those changes are for someone else or because of someone else. Be very careful and specific about it, especially at the beginning, because if he gets the wrong impression, all the good intentions will be gone. If he will mention or ask what is going on that you are so different, don’t tell him the reasons but ask instead if he likes it? He will say yes, and you respond with loving actions. This way he will understand that this is for him and from you…so enjoy it.
Remember when you tried to touch me, but I said no. I was only playing the game, which creates very powerful and emotional moments, and the secret of beauty lies in these kinds of moments. Play as much as possible, yes just as children do. Another great way to explain your desires is by watching movies like Don Juan De Marco starring Johnny Deep or The Sessions starring Helen Hunt.
“Lisa, I want you to know that every word in this letter is the truth; you are an extraordinary woman. It was an absolute pleasure for me to enjoy time with you. I also hope that the truth of this letter will help you achieve what you desire in life”